In Maine, anyone can tell you that soft-shelled lobsters are the ones still growing into their shells. Hard-shelled lobsters, on the other hand, fill their shells completely.
I find this a brilliant analogy for our own growth. Stepping into something new—new role (entrepreneur, SVP, CXO), new way of working, new market landscape—can have us feeling like that lobster, acquiring that soft-shell but not filling it up.
Maybe you've felt this too, with some new aspect of your life.
But here's the really interesting thing about lobsters: even the hard shells, hard-won, eventually shed. Over and over: soft shell, hard shell, soft shell, hard shell.
Same goes for growth for us non-crustaceans. You hit a new high and suddenly you're back to being a soft-shell, learning and growing again.
For me, that’s how it felt to step into the role of founder. The role evoked an image: working in Silicon Valley, male, raising capital, consumed by the company. Exaggerated? Sure. But also… not me.
By rights, I'd become a founder years ago: I built and ran Venture Design at IDEO, co-founding startups with clients from Australia to Singapore to, ahem, Silicon Valley.
And yet, when I built my own company, the role was new again. I molted a shell as I learned what it meant to lead without the mantle of another brand, selling my expertise on its own merits.
The new hard shell came with every new rev of my offer, every time I asked the vulnerable questions: Do you like this? Will you buy it? Is it serving you?
And then back to the soft shell, because real growth doesn’t stop at stability. Leaders who keep scaling are the ones willing to outgrow the shell they worked so hard to build.
When I'm in soft-shell mode, I find it helpful to remind myself how much bigger this shell is than my last one, that I take up more space thanks to experience and wisdom.
Our power comes not from the hard shells, but the growth inherent in choosing to adapt to a new one.
And that’s where experimentation comes in—it’s the fastest way I know to grow into the next shell with purpose, not just by chance.
For me, it's been the throughline from my first company to now, helping me grow and adapt with the market. It’s the most accessible way I know to turn change into curiosity and confidence.
If you're a founder too, or an aspiring one...
I'm running a series of experiences on gaining confidence and momentum as founders. Yesterday we dove deep into experimentation (with an AI boost). If you missed it, join the waitlist here for the next one.
And starting in September, I'm offering Startup by Design. I'd love to see you there!
And for everyone else, no matter what you're building, try this:
The Lobster Map 🦞 (I had to!)
Use it for yourself, or run it with your team to spark conversations about how to support each other’s soft-shell growth with hard-shell strengths.
🦞 Map your “Hard Shell” strengths and “Soft Shell” growth areas, then pick one soft shell to run a tiny, low-risk experiment on this week (optional: gift a hard shell skill you’ve outgrown to someone else).
Here's one of my soft shell areas: building confidence in strategic marketing. In the spirit of going small, my experiment next week will be to explore paid ads to support visibility and influence, and notice what kinds of conversations or unexpected connections they spark. (If you're a strategic marketer, what do you wish you'd known about growing awareness before you began?)
🦞🦞🦞
The specifics will vary, but the willingness to keep experimenting is how we grow into the next shell.
Because every leader is a lobster in some part of their life. The real test isn’t filling the shell you’ve got — it’s knowing when to shed it.
